unplanned future

A few weeks ago, my 6 y.o. asked me what he should name his “little girl”.  Perplexed, I asked, “What little girl?”  Then he said, “Mommy, the little girl I’m going to have.”  He went onto explain that there was a little girl in his school that said they will marry, have 4 kids (2 boys, 2 girls), he will move out of his mommy’s house, they will have their own home but he can come back to visit on the weekends, however, not every weekend.  Surprised and disheartened, I asked him who this little girl was.  He refused to tell me for fear I will confront her mother and get her in trouble.

As cute as that may sound, I don’t believe in having my son plan his life out at the age of 6. I want him to be a kid for at least another decade.  Planning so far in advance will only narrow his view of life.  I want him to explore and experience the unexpected and leave a wide-open window for adventures.  Being focus on marriage, kids and visits to his elderly mother on certain weekends kind of dim the light on living life to the fullest.

Some of the best things in life are unexpected… like him.  We planned for two kids, not three.  I cannot imagine my life without him.  I declare my love for him every single day.  I also tell him to keep an open mind for the future but he’s too young to understand that.  I’m astonished he understands the whole marriage and kid thing. Every time I question his plans, he fires back with, “Don’t you want me to experience marriage like you did?  I want to explore different houses too.”  It kind of breaks my heart but if I am a responsible mother, then he will be able to fulfil his dreams with his own abilities.

Almost anything new is complicated.  It’s the journey that makes memories, not necessarily the destination.  If you are intent on a goal, may you achieve it.  Just remember to allow other possibilities to bring you there.  There are many great blessings in my life that came from the “left field”.  Some felt like they literally popped out of thin air.  Who knew I would enjoy being a dentist so much?  As a kid, the dental office represented pain and torture.  (And you thought I couldn’t understand your angst…Hmph!)  Who knew it could also be therapeutic?  That’s just insanity!
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My son likes to tell me he will love me even when we’re “ghosts”.  Those words warm my heart even though I’m afraid of talking about ghosts.  I know one day he will make another woman happy and fill her life with unimaginable bliss.  For now, I just want him to be mine and stay in love with me.  He was Darth Vader as I was his Padme for Halloween.  If he only knows how complicated relationships can be.  He likes to emphasize that he still loves me even when he’s angry with me for yelling at him.  Who could ask for more than that?  Love endures after a bump is the ultimate love.  It is also one of the best love that I have.  I wish Father Time would hold onto his youth a little longer for me.  I’m not ready for him to grow up.   He’s my best surprise ever.