Mother's Day

Every once in a while I like to think I'm a good mother. I'm dependable and a good guidance counselor to my kids. But lately, I have not been dependable. I did not pick up my youngest when I told him I would. I was helping a young doctor when he was stuck with a surgical extraction. I couldn't leave the patient or the doctor. The seniority in me made me stay. My child understood and walked home in the heat. As for my second child, I can't even begin to tell you how many after school activities I missed for him. When it starts at 3pm, I'm working. When it ends at 5pm, I'm still working.
But I made it up with my oldest. I shortened my meetings to attend her last choir concert at school. My youngest came with me and supported his sister. She was honored with her peers and I was a proud mom. Even Bob cried when I showed her the video of my daughter playing the violin to Taylor Swift's Enchanted song. Then again, Bob cries at almost anything.
I also attended her last orchestra concert. She has been a part of this youth production for almost 10 years. The manager of the group choked up when he was talking about the graduating kids. He has taken care of them for years and now they're leaving him. His speech was sentimental. I felt the love he has for my daughter when he looked at her on stage revealing each kid's college choice. His heart was filled with pride. 
Then I attended her Spanish award ceremony. This was a dichotomy of feelings for me. I was proud her teachers thought she has a pretty good command of the Spanish language. But I was also upset because the week before when we were in Cancun, she said," No hablo Espanol." She did the same thing in Mandarin when we were at a dim sum restaurant a week later. She had 5 years of Spanish and even more of Mandarin.
I tend to work from home but my availability has been limited. I help my middle child with physics and math. He's a procrastinator so when he  comes for help, I'm already half asleep. This is where my husband and I tag team. It's hard to stay awake past 10pm when I wake up around 4:30 am. 
My work schedule prevents me from being the mom who attends every single event, knows all the kids' schedule and whereabouts. I just can't. Every 3-6 months, I even learn about my son's high school activities from a patient, who pays attention to all the school activities and meetings. I miss out on a lot of things. I feel bad and I don't. I have a responsibility to my patients and my team to be at the office. My team and patients are my dental family; I have to take care of them too. I try to balance the two. Most of the time, I think I'm successful. But life is about hardship, hard work and finding that medium of happiness and practicality. I try not to ever miss an important date though. So far so good.
So for all the working moms out there, I feel you. I'm with you. I'm standing right next to you. Sometimes, an overextension statement is an understated statement. We put our own needs aside to accommodate even the most trivial desire for our kids. Motherhood gave us love that was never known to us before. A patient once told me God gave us cute babies so we can love them unconditionally and raise them with hope. Then He gave us hormonal teenagers so it will be easier to let them go off to college. It's all about raising your kids right. But that job is the hardest job on earth.  Therefore, blessing to all the mothers for their endless love and devotion to the varieties of little and big creatures. May you continue to have your heart fill with peace and love from the fruits of your labor. The  baby is always the baby even at 60 in a mother's eyes.
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