The other day I was standing in line at Costco with my son to pick up our food order. The line was long and we were waiting for a few minutes already. A second employee yelled out his window that it’s now opened. My son and I waited for people in front of us to move to the second line first. Suddenly, an adolescent boy ran to take a spot in front of me. His mom chased and immediately chastised him about cutting in line. He replied in English, “I didn’t cut.” Then in Vietnamese he said, ”They’re dumb. They’re slow so I’m here.” She explained that he mistook politeness for slow and dumb. He refused to leave.
Normally, I would just let it go but I was so happy to hear the mom's explanation that I turned to her and said she was absolutely correct. I was waiting for others in front of me to move first because they had been in line longer. I turned to the boy and said I was not dumb or slow. I was being courteous and polite. Embarrassed, Mom apologized and tugged for the boy to go back. Instead, he stayed put and went up to the window to retrieve his order. The result was not ideal. But I love that this mom was teaching her son social mannerisms. It used to be being polite and courteous to others are expected societal virtues. The boy was about 12 y.o. so he has time to learn. It makes me happy when I see people extending common courtesy to those around them. They don’t even have to be nice, just not so mean. As a gentle reminder to our religious folks, love thy neighbors. For the spiritual yogis, please be kind of my light as I will be to yours. For our atheist friends, respect human rights and common decency. August marks another round trip accomplishment around the sun for me. it doesn't bother me but every few years, the image staring back at me in the mirror is older looking. Some years it's more beautiful than I thought, some years it's too dreary. I don't like those latter years. But I don't beat myself up because of them either. I just keep on moisturizing as sleep is hard to get nowadays. This past year, I had lost a colleague and an old friend. I also lost part of my patience because people are mean. We had a patient who complimented our office above and beyond but when the bill came to pay, he didn't criticized the work. He harassed my receptionists everyday via phone calls and emails. He even threatened them. It was too much to be cordial. As professionals, do we have to keep quiet and nod in agreement with this behavior? If you know me, you know the answer. I just move onto the next day. Time heals a lot as it calms the mind to forget the intensity of anger. Vengeance is the opposite but the idea of it also calms the mind to forget the intensity of anger. As I lost people and patience, I've also gained people and patience around me. Our office is growing nicely and we're having so much fun. Like I've always said, our patient population is 95% good , the other lowly 5% unfortunately occupies way too much space and time in my office's conscience. But they also nudge me begrudgingly to be patient. My kids have mastered this skill with me. It's embarrassing to admit but it is pure truth. This past year, we also celebrated new births, marriages and accomplishments. I forget sometimes to live in the moment. I'm bogged down with everyday chores and routines. I love dentistry so I accept the load. I love raising my kids so I also accept the busyness of it. Wishing for more time is crazy because who wants a 26 hours day? Wishing to go back in time is nonsense. I doubt if I would ever be able to do that so I don't want to waste time thinking about it. However, wishing to win the lotto is more realistic, even at 1 in 300,000,000 chance. So I will wish to win the lotto one day. At this rate, I would even take winning $1000. Here's to taking the little things to make us happy. Here's to another round trip around the life provider of a big giant star. Cheers! One of the many birthday treats throughout the week. I was so happy and grateful for the sweets.
July is when Americans celebrate Independence Day. It's our independence from the British back in 1776. 247 years later in 2023, a lot of that independence is taken away or withheld. Our conservative Supreme Court justices swore not to reverse any decisions that were made previous to their appointment. Yet, here we are fighting for our right to have autonomy over our bodies, how or who can vote, and what or how history is interpreted to our students. One-by-one, they pick and choose the most controversial issues to overturn.
Abortion is a medical issue, between the patient and her doctor. I'm not saying abortion at every stage is legit. I'm saying taking it away at 6 weeks is bullying of the female citizen. Someone else besides me has the authority over my body to carry an unwanted baby? The "unwanted" can be any reason: rape, incest, medical, etc. Will the people fighting for its life take care of it when it's a member of the LGBTQ+ community? Or will that be frowned upon as it is now? In Florida, there's even a "Don't Say Gay" law. Seriously, because being gay is unacceptable to those lawmakers. In the Bible, Jesus asked those without sins to cast the first stone against Mary Magdalene. Everyone walked away and she became one of his disciples. Back in 1920, women were granted the right to vote. Today, voting districts are being drawn over to give a certain advantage to the majority party. Today, society has gone so crazy for red or blue that common sense seems to disappear. Not everyone is going to be happy with all the rules and regulations but at least make it where the majority of the people can be happy about it. We are so divided as a country that you have to pick a side. You can't be purple or in the happy middle. I am not complaining as I live in the bubble of Silicon Valley. We have our own economy and we are very liberal. We also have lots of conservatives. However, we manage to live side-by-side in enough harmony to continue this economic growth. This place celebrates uniqueness and individualism. You can be who you are, just don't bother your neighbors. Does it hurt your feelings to see me dress a certain way? Or to see me kiss someone? Why wouldn't you think you're hurting my feelings because you dress a certain way or kiss another heterosexual? Feelings and emotions go both ways. I hope one day the few people who get to make the laws understand they are working for the majority, not the few. I also hope that people become more tolerant of others and be more accepting of differences. If not, there's a quote my patient has at the end of his email that is very wise: Build a bridge and get over it. Growing up, I didn’t think much about the LGBTQIA+ community. Why would I? I had a younger male cousin who was more feminine than I was. It was my norm. I went to high school with a guy who transitioned into a girl right after graduation. She was mean as a guy, she was meaner as a girl. My friends were all mixed with different ethnicities, backgrounds, financial status, etc. A girl I knew had a Filipino cotillion for her 18th birthday. I could not be a part of it because I had to buy my own dress and I didn’t have the money for it. But I enjoyed the party thoroughly as I’ve never seen anything like it before. I was amazed and it wasn’t even an over-the-top party. Her family was middle-class, which was rich in my poor eyes.
My high school dance partner was gay. My dance choreographers were gay. I had friends who had to move to San Jose to stay out of gangs in So Cal. I also had friends who were super smart and athletic. My girlfriend actually got a scholarship in volleyball from a local university. She also modeled. Guys were drooling over her. She was admiring anything that's beautiful: anything or anyone. She was adventurous. As I got older, my college groups of friends were very similar to my high school groups. I didn’t care who you are as long as you were smart. I didn’t like hanging out with intellectually-challenged people. Unlike some of my friends, I didn’t care for esthetics. I just wanted to talk to someone who was goal-oriented like me. I love the nerds. I love the poor nerds even more. They were my people. A good nerdy friend of mine was Asian and gay. He kept his secret the same way Apple kept their secret of the “Apple Car”. Everyone knew. While attending a Jesuit dental school, my friends and I visited a gay club quite often. Let's just I greet the guy in leather straps at the door to let me through. That place was one of my favorite places to go clubbing. There were multiple rooms and each had its own beats. Because it was in Omaha, the clubgoers thought I was a novelty: short, little Asian girl dancing with the young gay men in the spotlight. I was with my medical friends and we didn’t care. We were all enjoying ourselves, both boys and girls. After graduation, one of my clubbing friends went onto become an orthopedic surgeon. He also came out. Unlike Apple, he kept his secret well. We were all surprised, including his wife. As an adult, I hear some really dumb comments from smart people supporting the “Don’t Say Gay” policy in Florida. When did we as a society, think it was a great idea to go backwards with civility? Why fight to save unborn babies if you’re going to treat them “less than” because they love differently? How is your love more authentic than another? It drives me crazy to hear adults telling a child s/he is not true in form of God’s eyes. Really? Because you know for sure God wrote the bible Himself? It wasn’t modified by humans? Victors write taught history, not victims. Yet these same people claim to speak the truth? Maybe they’re using Kellyanne Conway's version of alternative truth. The same alternative truth that her husband rebutted in public. I get mad when my families and friends don’t like the guy I’m dating. I can’t begin to imagine strangers chiming in. What is it to you to dislike my choices so much? I pay my taxes, rent, education, etc. with the same green money you do. I’m actually smarter than a lot of people. I’m also a lot cuter, sexier, funnier, nicer, etc. But these are all my opinions. I don’t care if you disagree. You have your opinions. You want me to chastise you because you don’t agree with me? Or advocate to change the laws to make you conform to me? So for just 1 out of 12 months, let’s celebrate the bravery of the LGBTQIA+ community to own their feelings and expressions. Let’s thank everyone for their contribution to our own society and apologize for some of our community members’ stubborn stance in righteousness. Here’s to loving any way you can and doing it with joy. Please be kind to the next person, especially if you witness them needing a tender moment. If you can’t be kind, then please don’t be unkind. We need more compassion in today’s world so let’s start now. Happy Pride Month. Every apple has a bite to it. This one has teeth. A gift of appreciation from an artist patient of the eccentric kind: OURS!
We love this art because it is unique and one of a kind. Every vein on the apple is hand painted and even the gums. We are the luckiest bunch to receive this kind of gratitude for just doing the work that we love so much. It makes us feel so good. |
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